Friday, May 28, 2010

"The If He's Travelling Alot Excuse"

So first, 'He's Just Not That Into You', given that it was bought for me with a pointing finger and a 'ha-ha' whilst I would have opted for a Sex and the City gift-edition or something, I'm now rather amused with how it's made its way into my hands, even though it spent the first few hours of its shelf life in my possession at the corner of my desk, banished from my reading stack.

But wow, dude.

So yesterday, at about 20 to 10pm, just as I'm half way through the "The If He's Traveling A Lot Excuse", and the witty author's response.. my phone rings, immaculate timing I'd say.


"I've got to be quick, I'm calling you from the jet'.. said he. Hah, well, that's a hell of an attention grabber.


..And then..

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Oops?

Now what? Square one? .. My fault, I know.

Not regrets, but I suppose no glory either.
But it's always that way you don't get to glory without coming across a few regrets in the process of getting there, no regrets - no glory, I just haven't got either at the moment, I suppose. Whatever.

I wish I had said some of the things I wanted to but at the time I was left with the realization that  it'd be somewhat of a waste, maybe? I didn't want to talk about it. Specifically because I wanted to let sleeping dogs.. sleep.

He seemed glad to see me, it's not that he seems displeased with seeing me ever, but yesterday I got the impression that he genuinely had been looking forward to it, maybe? For one reason or other. Undecided again. I don't see myself ending it. Is that good or bad? I wish I knew. Either way it's time to ditch the 'Someone' title I've given him but I'm at a loss of imagination at the moment. 

Nevertheless, it is imperative that I say certain things next time, and I'm going to. Next time.

On another note... in the midst of my occasional binge shopping fits I found myself in a bookshop and emerged with 'The Importance of Being Earnest', as well as a few other Oscar Wilde classics, some books for people that I work with, a few additions to Nika's 3 shelf collection AND last but not least: 'He's Just Not That Into You'. 

Monday, May 17, 2010

How I got a needle driven through my flesh on a Thursday.

So. Let's go back, way back when it was still 2009 or rather, about to strike 2010.

'You've got to give this up you know.' MK scolded me as he evidently was making it a point to pull my hair extra tight while straightening it.

'I don't do it on purpose'
I instantly defended myself but in all honesty, at the time I had trouble figuring out which particular habit and/or tendency of mine he had been referring to for the past hour.

Some champoozle later. In the midst of a card game (which I ALWAYS regret later might I add, even when I win), The Bet came to be. If he wins, he dictates the terms, if I win, I do. We have these.. what's the word.. deadly..killer..insane.. no, neither of the aforementioned.. these 'fun' bets every so often, they're just something we do to have .. something to do, something in common, just.. for no reason at all. 'What this time?' I asked, regretting the question instantly, he seemed a little too inspired for my taste. A few minutes later the sinister details had been laid out. 

The Bet:

I win if  by summer I'm able to say that I'm seeing somebody with a straight face, without referring to rodents or economy issues in the process and flat-out ignoring the question. That gave me 6 months to get my love-life in order. Which meant putting in actual effort from my side AND not just making an effort to as quickly and painlessly to end what-ever it is I've started the moment I realize it has started, which is what I had been doing these three years. So not only do I have to be at a point where I can answer 'yes' but I also have to answer the question 'who'.

MK wins if  his current relationship doesn't end by summer (he's one of those 0-6 months kind of guys). He's not allowed to cheat and/or see multiple people at the same time. Any kind of cheating counts, phone, internet. 
 

If I win = I get iPhone of my choice (I kid not) M gets pierced.
If MK wins = I get pierced but M already has an Iphone, thus he gets to pick where I get pierced.

Mind you, it takes a lot to sort all those details one when one is not.. very.. uhm.. sober-minded So we wrote it all down. Hah. Smart we are.

His first of April prank on me was getting at least two dozen people to ask me the 'are you seeing somebody' question, which was blah.


First of May =
first day of Summer comes around. Needless to say, I get a phonecall with the opening line being 'So.. are you seeing somebody at the moment'.

Insert me throwing my only functional phone on the other side of the room. Only to open my inbox to the same question, whilst having received an identical sms earlier. I could only avoid it all for so long so finally I faced him, well, as face-to-face as MSN messenger conversations get.

Okay. In all honesty, it's a piercing I have always wanted and would have loved to get anyway. I had a choice whether or not to get it regardless of the whole Bet escapade and I had brought the idea up several times recently and was ready to go through with getting it done anyway. So.. having said that (ya know, disclaimer kinda thing):

..Thursday, May 6th.

Left work, caught the train, knew where I was going, I had made my mind up a whole 10 minutes ago.

Down the street, up the stairs to the piercing studio. It smelled clean - already a plus.

The dread-head reception girl was cute and friendly, I asked all my questions .. about 3 to be precise and she buzzed the piercer, who she said would answer any more questions I had.

Out came the person who was about to drive a needle through my flesh but, to make up for any discomfort I had with that idea, I was quickly stricken with the realization that he was

Absolutely.Freaking.Stunning.Looking. and wearing what appeared to be a white gold wedding band (damn.)

We chatted pleasantly while he took out a barbell from the display case, it had only occured to me after he said 'Shall we go somewhere more private m'lady?' that.. that huge freaking barbell was exactly what was about to be put into my tongue.  "Innit a tad .. large?' I blurt out, 'Nope.' he replied.

He gestured me into the piercing room and uhm.. kind of led me in really. 'Lidocaine or Novocaine?' he asked. 'Uh.. water?' I said, shaken by the idea of having a body part numbed. 

He sort of just stood there and stared for a few moments. I explained that any sort of anasthesia scares the heebeejeebies out of me to a point of where it's almost a phobia and that he's going to be needle-poking an absolutely 'conscious' body part, and told him to be gentle. He seemed absolutely weirded out by this but oddly excited and said it had been a while since someone wanted to go 'raw', that even the large biker dudes act like pansies. I was suddenly doubting whether or not I even value MK as a friend and how much of a loss he'd really be, you know, if I just cut off all contact. Everything happened sort of quickly after that.

I explained that I wanted mine further back than average so it'd be 'personal' and not for the world to see when I talk, Piercer-dude nodded. Tongue got dried off and marked, Piercer-dude gave me a quick squeeze and told me he'll only need a few seconds. He didn't use a clamp, only his hands, felt around for a few seconds, asked me to open and close my mouth several times, joked about needing to make-out with me for absolute efficiency of the piercing process.

He unpacked all the sharp stuff. Some pressure, a sting and a popping sound later - needle was through. 10-15 more seconds and an uncomfortable pulling sensation later, the barbell was in. Piercer-dude held me in place for a few seconds and asked if I was dizzy, to which I shook my head no.

'Don't talk for a few minutes'. He told me.
'Okay!' .. I replied eagerly. (Oops.)

Blood followed.

He held my hair as I slowly washed out/spat blood out and wiped my chin with tissues (insert aaw). A few minutes and a hug later, I was done. Paid for the newly acquired piece of metal, walked out, bought myself a bottle of ice-cold water to guzzle and attempted to get used to the whole thing. It only slightly ached. The healing process took about 3 days of me complaining but it was all extremely bearable, as soon as I could eat, I was happy. Because you know, ultimately, in life.. it's food that matters.

Now a week and a half later: I love, freaking love it. Happy ending. 

3 hours old:










10 days old, with a jewel!


Sunday, May 16, 2010

On another note yet the same song.

Life is .. something, I guess .. as always. At least it's something, right?

We were walking along the street, heading for a caffeine fix, which I was in absolute dire need of. However it wasn't that caffeine fix in particular that I had been looking forward to all morning - it was seeing him. We've been acquainted for months but I don't even know him much and must admit that I had been enjoying getting to know him yet not knowing him at all. He was an attractive guy before, but new summer gear + haircut + one shave later, my reaction upon seeing him for the first time in a month was 'Oh-em-gee-.. Hai.'

'So there's Bali' said he when we were half way to the coffee place, the one he had taken me to when we first met that I've grown rather fond of, anyway. Let's.. name him 'He', with a capital H, for now.

He proceeded to tell me about Bali.. and how he's going.. in 2 days. 'Hah, a tad sudden, but whatever toots your horn' I remember thinking to myself and probably mumbled something along the lines out-loud.

At the time, I had yet to be slapped across the head with the fact that He wasn't joking. I realized about 4-6 minutes later, and needless to say, nearly puked a squirrel at the fact.

I tried to seem unphased by it all and succeeded but probably came off kind of cold in the midst but after all.. we have only begun to get to know eachother. 'Do you think I can go to Australia straight after, file documents from there?' asked He. 'Uh.. ' was my intelligent reply. Insert me puking another squirrel, he wasn't joking this time either. 'You'll be back soon though, yeah?' I asked. 'About a month' was the reply. By that time, I had close to a dozen squirrels and needed something stronger than caramel coffee. We did chase the coffee with something stronger later.

The next two days and two meetings were.. I'd say .. time together before he leaves, I suppose, let's leave it at that and resume it all, if it gets resumed when he comes back.. if he comes back (to see me) and, yeah 'to be continued, later'. If continued.. unless

Tam-dee-taam. In the true spirits of 'Tasha-ism':
There's also.. this other .. happening.

That Somebody.. eh, it the words of Liquido in 'Narcotic' .. 'will you still recall my name, and the month it all begun, so will you release me with a kiss?' - who knows.

It's not even a case of me being indecisive this time,  when we meet or talk it seems so worth the time while it lasts, every time it lasts, but then after it's over there's no words exchanged (we cannot meet for specific reasons, his place of location changes several times a month) I come to the realization that I really don't mean much or anything to him.. to him seeing me is great but ultimately makes no difference, his actions when he's not seeing me make that blatantly obvious, I just seem to have managed to ignore that fact.

In all honesty, I get more emotion out of the stone bear statue I pass by every morning. At least that bear looks happy to see me..  Besides, even that bear seems to be more likely to surprise me with an SMS more than once every two weeks, or actually tell me he's glad to see me insert sarcastic 'heh' here. I brought this.. point up last time and got plenty of signs of understanding, but again, it's a case of while we're face to face, it's great, and then he leaves and it's all non-existent. Anyway. There's also that point of where there's no way that I can be comfortable with the idea of somebody I'm seeing .. seeing someone else.. or multiple somebody-elses which is categorically out of the question. At first maybe, heck, I could be guilty myself, but not some time after. I haven't even brought that question up, I'll most likely not tolerate the answer, anyway especially since .. seriously, who am I kidding. I should just .. yeah, I know and.. I will, I guess? Besides, I've already kindly been told the answer to that question - small world.
Through all this there has been a person to not only hear me out but react with absolute apathy, we shall deem him S. He's also been saving me in those moments of insane loneliness, I'm hoping that I'm repaying him with the same cutesy, that maybe he feels less alone when alone if we're talking, due to the fact that we're much in the same boat. Hey, if you're miserable, at least misery loves company, hah I'm sure that's not quite how that quote works but whatever.

Some days I enjoy the mess I can my social/love life, at least it's nothing boring and routine, other days I don't.

Oh. Yes. There's also a tongue piercing. But that deserves its own entry.