Friday, December 24, 2010

So.. it's Christmas

I've got my munchkin bathed and fed. Her eyes are starting to shut close. And.. I've already managed to do everything I needed to for tomorrow, just need to stick bows onto her wrapped gifts. Burned my finger while making dinner and wow.. this is supposed to be about Christmas..


We didn't do much today. I suppose my life's moto is actually not 'What now?' but 'So things didn't quite go according to plan, again..'.

Originally it was supposed to be different, but it's okay. I'm just kind of tired.

I have two missed calls and a text I need to reply to. I'm not sure what to say. I don't really want to spend Christmas Eve alone once Nika finally falls asleep. But. Argh. Why do these simple things have to be so complicated? I hate this.

 This holiday season is probably going to be really different than the previous three. I think? Yet on the other hand, I think in actuality, I need to cool off on making spur of the moment, happy-go-lucky inspired plans because though I understand why some things can't workout/are not possible yet or won't be ever, I need to .. just live day by day and take things as they come, just in order not to be disappointed. Just for the next few months, at least. I think I can do that, this all is just so uncanny for me, thus it'll be hard. I really don't like making last minute decisions. Gosh, New Year's Eve is coming up, what's that going to be like? Call me chicken, but this holiday season I really don't want the responsibility for planning, putting anything together or even to decide anything, I just want to agree or disagree, accept or decline.

Okay.. now what? 

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