Friday, February 22, 2013

Note To Self.


I have to promise to myself:

- I'll stop psyching myself out;

-  I'll categorically stop reading horror stories, about unthinkable factors that influence only 4-10% in extreme cases;

- I have to look forward to wonderful things, and more than anything, I have to actually believe that everything is going to be okay;

- Nobody is putting anything off, everything is going forth.. everyone involved wants this, plans are going to get made and executed;

- I am being paranoid if I believe that it's solely my decision/that I am the only one looking forward to this, that's not true;

- Everything is going to be fine.

- This time next year, I am hoping to look back at this, and laugh at myself, as I often do once time passes, because all my fears were illegitimate, and flat out made no sense. 



--

February is about to come to an end.

In February of 2010, I was looking back at February 2009, in horror.
In February of 2011, I was looking back at February 2010, also in horror.. but in a much better place.
In February of 2012, I was looking back at all of 2011, and thinking how unjustified my fears were. How I could have spared myself a lot of pain and fear, just by believing that everything was going to be perfectly okay, just as I had been promised from the start.

It's February 2013, and I have never been happier in my life.. ever. I have to believe that whatever it is that seems so awfully terrifying now.. and casts a cloud over my happiness, I should simply discard. I need to believe that in February 2014.. I'll be even happier.

/end of this.

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